The saying goes, “There’s no use crying over spilled milk.” But pumping moms are often quick to add “unless it’s your breast milk!”
Pumping can be a challenge, from the equipment and logistical considerations to the time requirement. But like many parenting issues, at least you can laugh about it ― or just vent about it on Twitter. Here are 23 funny and too-real tweets about pumping, from parents who’ve been there.
Fell asleep with my breast pump on and I think I'm in a different dimension now
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) June 15, 2016
When you accidentally turn the breast pump on full power ... 😳
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) February 18, 2016
Whoever said they've never cried over spilled milk has obviously never spilled 8ozs of breastmilk they just finished pumping.
— Court (@Discourt) December 7, 2014
The 2yo just tried to play my breast pump like a trumpet. Also, I scored more pics for the Photos To Show My Daughter's Future Dates album.
— HollowTreeVentures (@RobynHTV) August 13, 2013
I've got a hand breast pump and a riding crop in my bag. TSA should be fun!
— Kristen Chase (@thatkristen) September 10, 2011
When I stored wife's breast pump away I accidentally included tips from a cake-icing gun. The next baby is gonna get some cool-shaped milk!
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) September 25, 2012
Was just treated to a fireworks show courtesy of my breast pump. 😱😱😱😱😱
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) October 29, 2018
just spray tanned around my breast pump outline. the logistical challenges of a healthy beach glow while boobing are incredible
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) May 7, 2016
My 4yo son lovingly refers to my wife's breast pump as "the boobiesuckerthing." He's also called my chest, "boobies." This can't end well.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) January 7, 2014
I remember the only time in my life I felt like I was getting an unhealthy dependence on booze was when i was trying to pump for my second baby (never got more than half an oz) and the only way I could make myself do it was drinking a massive glass of white wine while pumping.
— Nicole Cliffe (@Nicole_Cliffe) November 13, 2018
Hiding in a closet pumping twice a day is GETTING PRETTY OLD. Also, accidentally licking breast milk off my iPhone screen.
— Court (@Discourt) August 20, 2012
Another cute thing I tell my kids is that when it snows, Mother Nature is cleaning out her breast pump.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) September 7, 2011
Remember when you used to use the breast pump and sing Madonna's "Express Yourself"? Hahaha! Oh, wait we didn't do that either.
— Mouthy Housewives (@MouthyHousewife) August 17, 2012
I have a meeting in another building in 3 minutes but if you think I am turning this pump off while the milk is flowing, you're nuts.
— Lil Wayne Stan Account (@ElitatheLibra) May 23, 2012
Pumping. So that you and your kids can both cry over spilled milk. #breastfeeding #momproblems
— Walking Outside In Slippers (@WalkingOutside) November 20, 2015
my bffs breast pump keeps saying TACO pic.twitter.com/bMXvDaigf6
— JennyPentland (@JennyPentland) June 2, 2016
I can’t even describe how angry and jealous I am that people like Hannah get to have breast-pump backpacks. I had my child in the Stone Age!
— Emily Nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) April 17, 2017
Just cried while throwing out my old breast pump with the milk stains still in the tubing. The pump that made those funky noises, was a pain to use and clean, and helped me nourish my two babies now almost 4 and 7. Parenthood is complicated.
— Walking Outside In Slippers (@WalkingOutside) June 9, 2019
I bet a 14-year-old boy thinks a breast pump is something much cooler than what it actually is.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) July 28, 2014
My wife posted items to sell online but left my contact info so right now I'm having a lovely conversation about a breast pump.
— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) January 28, 2013
Drywall guy: Hi there.
— Paige Kellerman (@PaigeKellerman) June 12, 2014
Me: Ignore the baby playing with the shattered remains of a breast pump. Now, let's patch some holes.
It's time to pump milk again. Can I get paid to pump? Or at least receive a free smoothie with every five bottles I fill?
— Kelcey Kintner (@mamabirddiaries) May 30, 2010
Well I successfully got unhooked from pump, consolidated milk, put in fridge and got to the bathroom before puking. Gold star?
— Brandy (@mannlymama) February 25, 2013
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