The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― and succinct ― wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious musings of 280 characters or less.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for past roundups.
Sign up for our Funniest Tweets of the Week newsletter here.
just WAIT till i learn how to do eyeliner
— hunter harris (@hunteryharris) July 6, 2019
I don’t care what people tell you, but LA definitely has 4 seasons: Pilot, Earthquake, Fire and Award.
— Sarah (@SarahPDorfman) July 6, 2019
waitress: *showing me around the restaurant* welcome, is this your first time?
— jo diggity (@WhaJoTalkinBout) July 11, 2019
me: no no I've eaten food before
Quiz: is everything terrible or am I just tired
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) July 11, 2019
therapist: and what do we do when we feel sad?
— 𝔞 𝔰𝔞𝔡 𝔟𝔦𝔱𝔠𝔥 🌙 (@sadcherrybitch) July 10, 2019
me: iced coffee
therapist: no
Who the fuck wrote this book about me pic.twitter.com/SkpwJeCLqE
— JC Lau 🦖 (@drjclau) July 7, 2019
As a woman, you haven’t lived until you’ve had a bra-fitter laugh in your face and say “oh honey...” when you tell her what size you’ve been wearing your entire life.
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) July 6, 2019
i can’t decide what the best soccer movie is: bend it like beckham, she’s the man, or ashlyn harris’s instagram stories
— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) July 9, 2019
i will never forgive the black eyed peas for writing the actual lyric, 'my lovely lady lumps'
— Bim Adewunmi (@bimadew) July 7, 2019
heard the neighbor singing lizzo but when she got to the part that asks baby how you feelin she sang "feeling drunk as hell"
— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) July 11, 2019
Legally Blonde (2001) pic.twitter.com/SUcsccMFEc
— melissa radz (@melissaradz) July 8, 2019
Me and my gals in college: yaaaas let’s drink this BAG of wine & go DAAAANCING
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) July 7, 2019
Me and my gals now: Ok so what you are experiencing is repressed trauma and what im about to guide you through is called dialectical behavior therapy
The two most aggressive texters in my life are my eye doctor and Walgreen’s. Chill, man.
— roxane gay (@rgay) July 7, 2019
me going to the gym two days in a row: wow can't believe i'm the fittest person alive
— Carly Ledbetter (@ledbettercarly) July 10, 2019
so here’s me pic.twitter.com/EHPlFH0cIn
— Emily Hughes 🦔🦙✨ (@emilyhughes) July 10, 2019
being bisexual means i'm attracted to women AND keanu reeves.
— sarah schauer 🦂 (@SJSchauer) July 8, 2019
Me when my plans go even slightly off schedule pic.twitter.com/5a97pNa5HL
— jeremy bearimy (@crissles) July 11, 2019
Here for Hot Girl Summer but eagerly awaiting Not Conventionally Attractive Woman Autumn when I can really shine
— ⭐️bex schwartz (@starbex) July 11, 2019
(opening my god damn email) there better not be any god damn emails in here
— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) July 8, 2019
I love to be a 35-year-old sharing my “hottest literature takes” about a book I was required to read in high school
— Gabriella Paiella (@GMPaiella) July 6, 2019
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